Sunday, February 27, 2011

CT Scans are scary

Friday was tough. I was really tired and it was super cold out and I had to stand outside for 45 minutes at work, doing our weekly "Island Talk." As a result, I never got warm all day. I had to go to Swedish for my bone scan and CT scan in the afternoon. The bone scan wasn't bad. First, they inject you with some sort of dye so they can see your bones. I kept imagining Wiley Coyote when he'd get zapped and you saw his skeleton - that's what I figure the techs see! It took about 40 minutes once in the machine, and I actually fell to sleep because it's so quiet. Really nice technician.
Then, it was over to another building on Swedish's massive campus, for the CT. Lord, first I had to drink not one, but two large containers of this stuff I decided to call gurp. It tastes like chalk, even though it comes in flavors. Oh my God, I thought if I have to drink another one of these I would puke. After the gurp has had time to digest, they come to get you. Then, oh boy, it's time for an IV. This is because once you're in the machine, they shoot iodine through you so your veins show up. Wiley Coyote again. The gurp is to illuminate my organs. So, the nice lady warned me that when the iodine went in, I'd feel like I was having a major hot flash and the sensation that I was going to pee my pants. Right before she injected it, she said here it comes, and holy crap, it was the weirdest, scariest feeling ever. I thought I would burn up, but it goes away in about 30 seconds. Nonetheless, I started to cry and just couldn't shake it for awhile. It just scared me.
Later Friday evening, Brad and I were engrossed in a movie, and my phone rang. I chose not to answer until after the movie was over. It was a radiologist at Swedish telling me she looked at my CT, and I had a small stone in my appendix, and if I was having abdominal pain to go to the ER right away. Well, I freaked, because I was having horrid pain, but it was gas from the gurp, not my appendix! I called the doctor and he said I was probably fine, but radiologists tend to get excited. I am fine. Have felt good all weekend.
So, tomorrow is my brain scan. It will be interesting to see if there's anything there (hahaha!). Seriously, I hope there isn't.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A few decisions

After meeting with a medical oncologist and a radiology oncologist at Swedish, I know for certain I'm going with those two. The medical oncologist is the one I'll likely spend the most time with, so it is important to me that I choose someone I feel is not only competent, but one who I like and who I can sense really cares about my well being.
This guy, Dr. Kaplan, explained things very clearly, unlike the medical oncologist at SCCA who I felt was rather brisk. Dr. Kaplan also had on a sweater that had something on it (lunch?), and sort of messy hair, which I found endearing and rather human. The medical oncologist at SCCA was a chick with a unibrow, sporting her lab coat, and talking to me like she was sure I really didn't know what the hell she was talking about, and she seemed irritated when I asked a question. Screw that. She also had a mustache, which was unnerving to me. Has she not heard of waxing? I'd be staring at the unibrow every time she treated me, wishing I could start plucking.
The radiology oncologist at SCCA was very sweet, an Asian gal, but the dude I saw this morning with Swedish, Dr. Douglas, again explained things much more to my liking, and he had on a whimsical tie with doctor-y stuff on it, like little stethoscopes, etc. Trust me, I AM NOT choosing my health care professionals based on appearance, but I could totally relate to these two men, whereas the female docs at SCCA - I just didn't feel the love.
Now I have to decide between the surgeon at SCCA and Swedish, who are both very capable guys and have been at it each for about 30 years. They know each other, and they know I'm talking to both of them, and they respect each other. They're used to it, and have said I have to go with my gut and what feels comfortable for me. But until I know exactly what the surgery is going to involve, I can't decide. I still need the MRI, PET/CT, brain and bone scans to know exactly what's going on inside this little temple I live in. Time will tell.
Off to Whistler tomorrow! It's supposed to be sunny and 30 to 37 above. Perfect. Can't wait!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A day at The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance

Today was my second opinion day, with the fine folks at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. The place has a really good vibe, nice location and friendly staff. I even ran into a wonderful woman I haven't seen in about 20 years! It was one of my old bodybuilding girls, and I swear she looks exactly the same. She was there for breast issues as well. It was so good to visit with her, and I hope we remain in touch.
This place functions a little differently from Swedish. I met the whole team in one day, which I liked, but it did make for a very long day. First, a resident talked to me about my family, and my medical history, followed by a brief exam. I swear he looked like he was 20! So, being me, I asked, and he was 31! He was adorable - and a smart little shit! His mother should be proud!
I met with the surgical, medical and radiology oncologist all together first, then they took off to discuss my case for an hour while I got some lunch with Brad.
After that I met with each doc individually. I definitely have some hard choices to make about my treatment, and now on which facility to choose to care for me. I will make that decision after the weekend.
Tomorrow I meet with the medical oncologist from Swedish, then Thursday with the radiology oncologist from Swedish. Then I will have heard every body's position. I am not crazy about the idea of radiology. It just makes me uncomfortable thinking of being blasted every day for 6-weeks with nukes basically. There is a way I can avoid it, but I'll go into that later.
For now, I feel well, and am excited about the upcoming ski trip! I'll have four days to think about how to proceed with my life. I liked what the surgeon said to me today, to just take baby steps...one day at a time. It will drive me crazy to worry about what this is going to look like in three months, six months or a year. I just have to focus on today.

Friday, February 11, 2011

A new and unwanted challenge

I feel like a real slacker since I haven't blogged since last fall. Geez. Since then, I landed myself back in a paying journalism gig, as a reporter for The Mercer Island Reporter, which I love and am so grateful for. So, I'm getting paid to write again - yay!
Now I am turning to this outlet for personal reasons. I see this as a therapeutic exercise, since I am one of those people that feels compelled to keep my friends and loved ones informed on major events in my life.
Linda Ball, daughter, rock chick, wife, mother, student, real estate broker, journalist, bodybuilder, ballroom dancer, lover, weirdo.....these are all parts of my journey. Now I have a new and very frightening journey ahead of me, which I hope and pray will end with, Linda Ball, cancer survivor.
Yep, folks, I was diagnosed with breast cancer Jan. 26, 2011. Color me shocked. There is no breast cancer in my family, or much cancer to speak of at that. I always figured I'd have a stroke since everyone in my family (the elders) seem to have stroked out. But no. I have to get a life threatening disease. It really sucks to say the least. For God's sake, I haven't even had the flu for years.
First there was shock. Now I'm easing out of denial into reading up on this horrid disease so I can understand what's happening to me.
Here's what I know. It's a pretty good size tumor in my left breast. I first suspected something around the holidays. I didn't feel it, but I could see it, seriously. I thought, "WTF." I freaked momentarily, then told myself to calm down and get a mammogram after the holiday. So I did.
Then, they (Swedish Hospital) called me back in for additional views on the left side. Okay, don't panic I thought.
After the additional views, suddenly they are suggesting an ultrasound. Hmmm. Okay. Then a biopsy. Now I'm crying. That was Jan. 24. Two days later I got the call, that I have cancer.
It's what they call ductile carcinoma in situ, which means it's in the ducts, not the lobes, and hasn't spread, so that's the good news. What is worrisome is that I am positive for HER2neu, which means I have too many copies of the HER2neu gene being produced, which makes the cancer cells more aggressive. I'm also positive for estrogen and progesterone receptors, which may mean hormonal therapy once the damn cancer is gone.
So, I'm being real clinical here, I know. I want to understand this and be prepared. But truthfully, I'm scared shitless. I am not afraid to die, but I'm not ready just yet. And I don't want to be mutilated. I admit it. I'm vain. I've always relied on my femininity when my brain wasn't enough.
The rest of this month will be consumed by numerous consultations with a variety of doctors, plus I'm getting a second opinion from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance on Tuesday. These are the folks who are associated with the renowned Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center and the University of Washington. They are reviewing my pathology report now. Then I see a medical oncologist and a radiology oncologist this week, too. I will be getting an MRI, PET/CT scan and bone scan soon, too. Once I decide between Swedish or SCCA, a treatment plan will be devised. Then the fun/horror begins. One option is to do chemo first to shrink the tumor so it can be removed without too much harm to the breast, which appeals to me. I also might be able to be part of a clinical trial, which sounds encouraging.
I never thought - not in a million years - that I'd be dealing with this. I have wonderful friends, and a wonderful man in my life, Bradley, who is very concerned about me and has been with me every step of the way so far.
So, this new girl in town - now here for almost a year and a half - is getting to know the side of Seattle I didn't think I'd need, and that's the wonderful health facilities here. I truly believe there was a reason God pointed me here, because this city is very well known for its excellent health facilities.
I will keep this blog updated frequently now, so that anyone who cares or is just curious about breast cancer can keep up with my treatment/care. Right now, I feel fine. Bradley and I are going skiing next weekend to Whistler and I'm so excited because I've never been there! We've had this planned for a couple of months and I'm so glad I'm not in chemo or anything yet so this trip didn't get blown. I'm going to ski my ass off, take in the sunshine and thank God I'm alive.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Glamping on San Juan Island

Islands are magical; even the non-tropical ones. I've always heard how beautiful the San Juan Islands are, so I finally went there. After reading an article about "glamping," or glamour camping, and its recommendation of Lakedale Resort at Three Lakes on San Juan Island, I made plans a few months ago. It was cheaper than any other accommodations on the island (and still not cheap), and I viewed it as a most awesome adventure.
After a two-hour drive north and west to Anacortes, I boarded the ferry to the island. The scenery along the way was beautiful but I didn't see any whales, darn it. The ferry ride is an hour and a half; much longer than many I've taken before. I rolled off the ferry at Friday Harbor at about 5:30 p.m., and drove straight to Lakedale so I could settle in before it got dark.
My "room" was a canvas wall tent complete with a wooden floor, very comfortable queen size bed with great linens, a table and chairs and my own fire pit outside with more chairs around it. Much to my dismay, I never did get a fire going. I've lost all my Camp Fire Girl skills! I almost got one started then it started to sprinkle so I gave up! The tent had no heat or electricity, just a Coleman lamp and a flashlight to make my way to the communal ladies/shower/potty facility. I worried I'd freeze to death or get eaten by a bear.
Neither happened! That tent was wonderful, and there are no bears on the island!!
Lakedale is just about halfway between Friday Harbor and the lovely little village of Roche Harbor. Not really knowing my way around, and the fact that it was getting dark, I decided to go up Roche Harbor Road a couple of miles to a restaurant called Duck Soup Inn for dinner.
Rustic, yet totally elegant, this is the ultimate date restaurant - in the middle of nowhere! I thought I'd died and gone to heaven over the food. I started with the ginger carrot soup finished with a dolop of basil mint feta, which was absolutely heavenly. The house salad had a touch of feta and a light, flavorful dressing. And - the homemade bread came with a anchois butter - emulsified olive oil with garlic and lemon which was just heavenly. For my entree I had the saffron seafood stew which was served over polenta and included fresh oysters, shrimp, salmon and clams. Just when I didn't think it could get any better I had the vanilla creme brulee and totally screwed up the diet, but it was irrestible. Not only that, I had two glasses of a 2007 Cabernet Franc from San Juan Vineyards, which is no longer available, and it went down like butter, baby! I highly, highly recommend this restaurant. I've been around a bit, and this is one of the best in the world. Bon Appetit, Gourmet, and Travel and Leisure magazines have all endorsed the Duck Soup Inn.
Back at the tent, it was so dark I almost got lost getting back to the tent from the bathroom facility! I had to have a nice couple point me in the right direction! It rained overnight, and was sort of lousy in the morning, so I poked around the farmer's market and the shops in Friday Harbor, then had a good lunch of salmon tacos at The Downrigger. Nice water view, good salmon. Seafood, seafood, seafood right? Hey, this is an island!
As the weather cleared and the day became quite lovely, I drove up to the lovely little village of Roche Harbor. Truly, this is a village - no mayor, no school....it's there because the town was established in 1886 due to rich lime deposits. This was once a boom town, sort like the Alaska Gold Rush. Now, most of the buildings are on the historic register. Lovely boats dot the tranquil harbor, and new summer "cottages" have sprung up for part-timers or retirees. Could be a great place to retire someday.
From there I drove south to Lime Kiln point on the west side of the island to see the lighthouse and watch for whales. Apparently the whales had moved up north toward Vancouver, B.C., but the view was still spectacular, and the lighthouse was magical. I had dinner back in Roche Harbor at an old, old place - McMillens, which was named after the town's founders and was once their home. Quaint and lovely, the food was fine but nothing like Duck Soup Inn!
Another rainy night with thunder, but I thought it was a dream. In the morning it cleared up, and I broke camp(!) at 11 a.m. the official check-out time. Very cool experience. I even met a new friend, a lady who biked all the way up there from Vancouver, Washington! She was cool - an attorney, and single mother of four daughters, who unwinds with obviously very long bike rides!
I stopped at San Juan Vineyards to buy some of the Cab Franc, only to find out that indeed, it's all gone, available at only a few fine restaurants like Duck Soup Inn. However, I did the tasting and still packed off four bottles and a few other trinkets.
Now what would a camping or glamping trip be without at least one animal/insect encounter? So, I'm standing at the tasting bar in my rubber boots, and all of a sudden I'm in pain - something is attacking my leg! I whipped my boot off and pulled up my pant leg, and I'll be damned if a yellow jacket didn't fly up my pant leg and sting me - then he flew out! The winery owner ran and got me something to put on it to take some of the sting out. I was pretty scared because I'd never been bitten by one before and didn't know if I'd have an allergic reaction, but thankfully I did not. I still hurts though. I hope the little bastard died afer he bit me!
So, back on the ferry and back home to Seattle - about 48 hours after I left. It was too short, but at least I've been there now and I do want to go back. I highly recommend Lakedale Resort (they have cabins and a lodge, too) and Duck Soup Inn. Memorable.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Bumbershoot - And, one year later

A year ago this weekend I was unpacking, wondering what have I done, moving to a city where I knew 2 people. Many of my friends thought I was crazy - or brave - or whatever. The year has gone fast, but in a way I feel like I've been here a long time. Much has happened. It feels like home.
I like it here. Contrary to popular opinion, the people here are totally nice. I had my first party last weekend, and eight people came that I did not know a year ago. It was a good time. Everyone got along famously!
So, I have new friends, and I have a job, although it's a lot of stress for very little pay, but I guess that's just part of the "new" normal in this sad economy.
Yesterday I attended my second ever Bumbershoot. Bumbershoot is a three-day celebration of music and art - all things I love - in it's 40th year. I chose to go Saturday because I thought it would be cool to see Bob Dylan, the legend, the headliner. I saw him 10 years ago for the first time and was very impressed.
Not so this time. He had a great band behind him, but Lord, the vocals (his) were horrid. He basically just croaks now. If it's an old song that's great because you can (sort of ) recognize it, but the newer material which I am not familiar with, is unrecognizable. You can't understand a damn word he's singing. I was tired and getting cold, and I admit, for the first time in my life, I left a concert mid-set. So shoot me if you're a big Dylan fan, but I couldn't take it anymore. I kept wishing a guest vocalist would step in.
However, Neko Case, a singer-songwriter originally from Tacoma of all places, was beautiful. She played the Main Stage before Dylan. I'm not familiar with all of her songs, but she is a lovely songstress with a bright future.
Earlier I caught Wheedle's Groove, a Seattle band with I swear about a dozen people in the band, on one of the secondary stages, and they were awesome! They are a funk/soul band that have been around since 1965 - mostly black dudes, dressed to the nines and totally soulful! You couldn't help but move! I've got to catch them again! They did a James Brown song and totally ripped it up!
Bumbershoot is fun; there are many options for entertainment, food and vendors, but I have to bitch about the beer gardens. I don't like beer, and all they offered was Barefoot wine, which totally sucks. I mean, come on - with all of the fabulous Washington wines, this is the best they can do? Yuk.
So, what now? I'm still in the same apartment I moved into when I got here. Even after looking around more, I realize I've got a pretty good deal here given that many places don't allow pets, and of course I have my darling Abbey. I'd like to buy, but given the job situation, it's not feasible now.
I've had my heart broken once since I've been here. So what's new there? All I can say about dating in Seattle is that the odds are good, but the goods are odd!
I'll survive. I always do.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Chris Isaak at Chateau Ste. Michelle

Live music is a wonderful thing. I don't know what I would do without it. It makes me feel incredibly alive. Friday night at the lovely grounds of the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery in Woodinville, singer/songwriter/rock-star Chris Isaak thanked us all for coming out to support live music, because where else would he get to wear that suit?!
The suit was a very jewel tone blue, with all kinds of bling going on. I thought Elvis was in the house for a minute. Isaak has a voice like silk as we know, but he's also very funny.
This was my first time at a concert at Chateau Ste. Michelle, and a first time seeing Isaak and his band. We couldn't have asked for a more perfect evening. Clear and warm, with the occasional hot air balloon passing overhead. Wineries are a great concert venue; you can buy a bottle of good wine, and take it to your seat or space on the lawn, no problem. The food vendors at this show were better than average, too. I got three super yummy crab cakes and coleslaw for $15 - which I chased down with a lovely Sauvignon Blanc. Good times!
Isaak not only "played" with the audience, but he came out amongst us! And guess where he strolled, while singing an Elvis tune (of all things)...within a foot of me! He came off stage with a remote mic, and walked up one pathway, then sat in this one girl's chair and continued singing. It was hilarious! Then, he hooked a right, and I was almost close enough to touch him. Needless to say, I got a good look at him, and yes, he's nice looking, but he does have a funny looking nose.
Back on stage, he and his band tore it up, thrilling the audience with the likes of "Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing," "San Francisco Days," and the gorgeous "Wicked Game."
I do have one complaint about Chateau Ste. Michelle - no cameras. I had to hike a considerable distance to take my camera back to my car (in hot weather). Seems kind of silly, because when Isaak was up close and personal, everybody took out their cell phones and started either taking still shots, or taking video of the whole thing.
Nonetheless, can't beat a live show, especially outside on a beautiful night, with good food and wine!