Low white blood cell count, hair thinning

Last Friday when I went in for chemo, they did blood work first, as usual. No wonder I had been so tired all week - more so than usual. My white blood cell count was really low. They gave me my Herceptin but held back on the Taxol, which is the big gun, so I could get my white count back up. This is not unusual and will not set me back, but it scared me. With such a low white count the body cannot fight infection, so you're a real target to catch anything. So, I have been very careful to avoid anyone sneezing, coughing, etc.
Last weekend was great, seeing my old pals in Spokane/Coeur d'Alene, but far too quick. I was thrilled with the Empire Classic and how fabulous my friend Sherry looked. It had been years since I went to a bodybuilding competition, and it brought back a lot of memories. And, I got my baby fix, holding and talking to sweet little Quinn, my dear friend Erica's gorgeous little girl.
I have visited with the physical therapist, and instead of doing 30 minutes every other day on my elliptical, she wants me to do 15 minutes every day, so I've been doing that. Sometimes I do 20 minutes because it's easy for me, but they don't want me to get too worn out. We also added some resistance training this week - weenie weights, but it feels good. Baby steps are necessary so I don't get too tired, but exercise is proven to minimize the fatigue from chemo.
Lastly, yesterday and today I'm noticing hair starting to fall out. I was really upset yesterday morning especially. I know it's inevitable, but it is still shocking. It's not coming out in big gobs, but more than usual. I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to get a haircut Saturday, but if it's going to fall out maybe I should just have Mallory buzz it, and I'll go to the wig. I see my doctor and have chemo tomorrow so I'll ask him what he thinks, and I will have Mallory sort of examine my scalp and see what she thinks. It's very emotionally taxing.

Chemo brain

This is a real term, for the forgetfulness and sort of fog your mind goes into with chemotherapy. It has definitely set in. It's very difficult to describe. It's a lot of what we all go through (like, why did I come into this room - to do what?), but worse. There's a disconnect, like your body and mind are on different journeys. So, I've been stricken! But, that and fatigue continue to be my only side effects, so for that I am grateful although they both suck.
I had an MRI last Thursday; it'd been about 5 weeks since I had one, and even my untrained eye could see the difference from the "before" film. You can actually see the tumor breaking up from this tight mass, to now seeing healthy breast tissue infiltrating it. It was great to see tangible results! I also had to have yet another dreaded biopsy, but it seems that with every procedure it gets easier.
Infusion number four went fine, too. I even managed to doze off a little, although sound sleep continues to elude me. However, they gave me some new sleeping pills that seem to be helping, although I feel pretty rough today. Last weekend was great, but I got too tired Sunday. Saturday I got to nap, then I took Brad out to dinner at the wonderful Book Bindery (a fabulous restaurant in Fremont) for his birthday, and we had a lovely time. Sunday I felt good, but my sister and her hubby rolled into town and I overdid it. They've been on a road trip, and I was the last stop before they headed up the Alaska Highway. I made a great dinner on my new barbecue, but I wore myself out. I'm still paying for it.
But, I finally broke down and hired a housekeeper, at least this once. They were still there when I left this morning for work, but yikes, they were really whaling on the place! So, I can relax tonight!
This coming weekend Brad and I are going to Spokane for an overnight, for friend Sherry's big show. She is competing in the Empire Classic, in the figure competition. I cannot wait to see the show, and all my "peeps" over there. It will be wonderful for me emotionally, just as it was really great to see my sister.

More fun coming up

I'm feeling pretty tired today, and sort of have the blues, but a couple of nice phone calls have cheered me up. This just gets old, being tired. But I managed to get back onto an exercise regimen of sorts this week, and hope to only improve upon it. It makes me feel so much better. The tumor continues to shrink. Dr. Kaplan is thrilled - he says it's really responding to the treatment. I can even tell the tissue is not as dense and hard. Thank God. This week is going to be rough. My work schedule is busy, and I have to have another MRI, and a dreaded biopsy Thursday (as part of the study). The MRI doesn't bother me at all, but I hate the biopsy. It hurts and leaves my breast all beat up for weeks. I shouldn't complain though. I'm definitely not slipping through the medical cracks. My team is so awesome, from Dr. Kaplan, to Barry and Heather, the research nurses, to all the various chemo nurses and volunteers who bring me tea or whatever I need during chemo. They are all angels. My sister Cheryle, and her husband Jerry will be swinging through this week for an overnight visit. I look forward to seeing her. They flew to Florida from Alaska to pick up a new truck, and are road-tripping their way back to Alaska visiting friends and family along the way. Oh, the shots brought my white blood count up to normal last week. I only have to have one this week. They kind of gross me out because they have to be given in the belly. I just don't look, and I'm okay. The right side of my chest still looks a little funky from the port being put in, but at least it doesn't hurt so bad anymore. I don't know what else to say right now. Need to lay down. Thanks to all for listening.

Progress

I saw my medical oncologist before my second blast of chemo yesterday, and the good news is, the tumor is already shrinking! He said it was remarkable. I've had no really icky side effects, other than fatigue, and I was pretty sore all week from the surgery to put the port in. I hate that that thing is in me. I don't know why, but it totally grosses me out. But, it beats getting stuck by needles every week. The week was a little rough. I was on pain killers for the pain from the incisions, but they made me feel too goofy so I got off them by Tuesday. They also constipate the hell out of you, which is no fun. I'm tired today - I didn't sleep well even though they pumped me full of drugs yesterday. My white blood count is down, which is not unusual, so I have to get some shots this coming week to bring it up before next Friday's infusion. The white blood cells boost your ability to fight stuff, so it's important that they don't drop too low. But everything else is cool. I've had very little nausea, in fact I haven't tossed it once. The fatigue is the most frustrating part. I'm so used to being so independent and just going and going, that this sort of kills me. I'm also seeing a psychiatric oncologist (they have everything) and she told me I have permission to rest and take care of myself and to include some fun in my life, not just have my life consumed with cancer, work and errands, which is what it feels like. I need to get back exercising, too. That's next week's goal. Meantime, I am scheduling some fun things. It's obvious I can't leave for a real vacation, but little get-aways and events will make me happy. Tonight Brad and I are going on a "date." Dinner at Dahlia downtown, followed by the Broadway musical "Billy Elliot" at the beautiful Paramount theater. I'm very excited and I'm going to dress up! April 16th is Brad's birthday, and I have a reservation at the fabulous Book Bindery restaurant in Fremont. It's fairly new, and spectacular. April 23rd we are going to Spokane for one night to see my dear friend, Sherry, compete in her first fitness competition. She looks amazing. I was a bodybuilder in the 80s (true story) so I am really looking forward to this. It's hard, hard work. Ten of us will be cheering her on, all the groovy Spokesman Review gang I worked with. Sadly, only two or three of them still work there! But they were the best, and I'm still very endeared to all those peeps. Then in May, I'm taking Brad to my fabulous "glamp" site for two nights on San Juan Island. It's so beautiful and relaxing. They are having a half-off special, and since I stayed there before they sent me an e-mail. Now, Brad's a real camper, he's never been "glamping," but I think he'll get a kick out of it. If you're not familiar with my glamping experience, I have an earlier post on it. Love that place. Oh, and I must mention the coming concert season! Of course I am still holding tickets for U2 at Qwest Field, now on June 4 after it being cancelled last year due to Bono's back injury. My dearest Colleen will be here from Alaska for the occasion! And just yesterday....drum roll.....Brad and I got killer tickets to see my true love Eddie Vedder, solo, July 15, in beautiful Benaroya Hall. I'm so stoked!!!! He's touring behind a solo CD of ukulele songs. I cannot, cannot wait. I keep hoping I'll run into him somewhere, as he lives in West Seattle, and people do see him, but I think he stays under the radar. I'd probably faint. For those of you who, God forbid, do not know who Eddie Vedder is, he's the lead singer for Pearl Jam, and the finest rock baritone ever to live, and a fine, fine humanitarian, and hunk of man. Brad understands. Eddie's married anyway! Sigh. I can still let the music touch my soul. Little things to look forward to make me feel like I can deal.