Friday was tough. I was really tired and it was super cold out and I had to stand outside for 45 minutes at work, doing our weekly "Island Talk." As a result, I never got warm all day. I had to go to Swedish for my bone scan and CT scan in the afternoon. The bone scan wasn't bad. First, they inject you with some sort of dye so they can see your bones. I kept imagining Wiley Coyote when he'd get zapped and you saw his skeleton - that's what I figure the techs see! It took about 40 minutes once in the machine, and I actually fell to sleep because it's so quiet. Really nice technician.
Then, it was over to another building on Swedish's massive campus, for the CT. Lord, first I had to drink not one, but two large containers of this stuff I decided to call gurp. It tastes like chalk, even though it comes in flavors. Oh my God, I thought if I have to drink another one of these I would puke. After the gurp has had time to digest, they come to get you. Then, oh boy, it's time for an IV. This is because once you're in the machine, they shoot iodine through you so your veins show up. Wiley Coyote again. The gurp is to illuminate my organs. So, the nice lady warned me that when the iodine went in, I'd feel like I was having a major hot flash and the sensation that I was going to pee my pants. Right before she injected it, she said here it comes, and holy crap, it was the weirdest, scariest feeling ever. I thought I would burn up, but it goes away in about 30 seconds. Nonetheless, I started to cry and just couldn't shake it for awhile. It just scared me.
Later Friday evening, Brad and I were engrossed in a movie, and my phone rang. I chose not to answer until after the movie was over. It was a radiologist at Swedish telling me she looked at my CT, and I had a small stone in my appendix, and if I was having abdominal pain to go to the ER right away. Well, I freaked, because I was having horrid pain, but it was gas from the gurp, not my appendix! I called the doctor and he said I was probably fine, but radiologists tend to get excited. I am fine. Have felt good all weekend.
So, tomorrow is my brain scan. It will be interesting to see if there's anything there (hahaha!). Seriously, I hope there isn't.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A few decisions
After meeting with a medical oncologist and a radiology oncologist at Swedish, I know for certain I'm going with those two. The medical oncologist is the one I'll likely spend the most time with, so it is important to me that I choose someone I feel is not only competent, but one who I like and who I can sense really cares about my well being.
This guy, Dr. Kaplan, explained things very clearly, unlike the medical oncologist at SCCA who I felt was rather brisk. Dr. Kaplan also had on a sweater that had something on it (lunch?), and sort of messy hair, which I found endearing and rather human. The medical oncologist at SCCA was a chick with a unibrow, sporting her lab coat, and talking to me like she was sure I really didn't know what the hell she was talking about, and she seemed irritated when I asked a question. Screw that. She also had a mustache, which was unnerving to me. Has she not heard of waxing? I'd be staring at the unibrow every time she treated me, wishing I could start plucking.
The radiology oncologist at SCCA was very sweet, an Asian gal, but the dude I saw this morning with Swedish, Dr. Douglas, again explained things much more to my liking, and he had on a whimsical tie with doctor-y stuff on it, like little stethoscopes, etc. Trust me, I AM NOT choosing my health care professionals based on appearance, but I could totally relate to these two men, whereas the female docs at SCCA - I just didn't feel the love.
Now I have to decide between the surgeon at SCCA and Swedish, who are both very capable guys and have been at it each for about 30 years. They know each other, and they know I'm talking to both of them, and they respect each other. They're used to it, and have said I have to go with my gut and what feels comfortable for me. But until I know exactly what the surgery is going to involve, I can't decide. I still need the MRI, PET/CT, brain and bone scans to know exactly what's going on inside this little temple I live in. Time will tell.
Off to Whistler tomorrow! It's supposed to be sunny and 30 to 37 above. Perfect. Can't wait!
This guy, Dr. Kaplan, explained things very clearly, unlike the medical oncologist at SCCA who I felt was rather brisk. Dr. Kaplan also had on a sweater that had something on it (lunch?), and sort of messy hair, which I found endearing and rather human. The medical oncologist at SCCA was a chick with a unibrow, sporting her lab coat, and talking to me like she was sure I really didn't know what the hell she was talking about, and she seemed irritated when I asked a question. Screw that. She also had a mustache, which was unnerving to me. Has she not heard of waxing? I'd be staring at the unibrow every time she treated me, wishing I could start plucking.
The radiology oncologist at SCCA was very sweet, an Asian gal, but the dude I saw this morning with Swedish, Dr. Douglas, again explained things much more to my liking, and he had on a whimsical tie with doctor-y stuff on it, like little stethoscopes, etc. Trust me, I AM NOT choosing my health care professionals based on appearance, but I could totally relate to these two men, whereas the female docs at SCCA - I just didn't feel the love.
Now I have to decide between the surgeon at SCCA and Swedish, who are both very capable guys and have been at it each for about 30 years. They know each other, and they know I'm talking to both of them, and they respect each other. They're used to it, and have said I have to go with my gut and what feels comfortable for me. But until I know exactly what the surgery is going to involve, I can't decide. I still need the MRI, PET/CT, brain and bone scans to know exactly what's going on inside this little temple I live in. Time will tell.
Off to Whistler tomorrow! It's supposed to be sunny and 30 to 37 above. Perfect. Can't wait!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A day at The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance
Today was my second opinion day, with the fine folks at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. The place has a really good vibe, nice location and friendly staff. I even ran into a wonderful woman I haven't seen in about 20 years! It was one of my old bodybuilding girls, and I swear she looks exactly the same. She was there for breast issues as well. It was so good to visit with her, and I hope we remain in touch.
This place functions a little differently from Swedish. I met the whole team in one day, which I liked, but it did make for a very long day. First, a resident talked to me about my family, and my medical history, followed by a brief exam. I swear he looked like he was 20! So, being me, I asked, and he was 31! He was adorable - and a smart little shit! His mother should be proud!
I met with the surgical, medical and radiology oncologist all together first, then they took off to discuss my case for an hour while I got some lunch with Brad.
After that I met with each doc individually. I definitely have some hard choices to make about my treatment, and now on which facility to choose to care for me. I will make that decision after the weekend.
Tomorrow I meet with the medical oncologist from Swedish, then Thursday with the radiology oncologist from Swedish. Then I will have heard every body's position. I am not crazy about the idea of radiology. It just makes me uncomfortable thinking of being blasted every day for 6-weeks with nukes basically. There is a way I can avoid it, but I'll go into that later.
For now, I feel well, and am excited about the upcoming ski trip! I'll have four days to think about how to proceed with my life. I liked what the surgeon said to me today, to just take baby steps...one day at a time. It will drive me crazy to worry about what this is going to look like in three months, six months or a year. I just have to focus on today.
This place functions a little differently from Swedish. I met the whole team in one day, which I liked, but it did make for a very long day. First, a resident talked to me about my family, and my medical history, followed by a brief exam. I swear he looked like he was 20! So, being me, I asked, and he was 31! He was adorable - and a smart little shit! His mother should be proud!
I met with the surgical, medical and radiology oncologist all together first, then they took off to discuss my case for an hour while I got some lunch with Brad.
After that I met with each doc individually. I definitely have some hard choices to make about my treatment, and now on which facility to choose to care for me. I will make that decision after the weekend.
Tomorrow I meet with the medical oncologist from Swedish, then Thursday with the radiology oncologist from Swedish. Then I will have heard every body's position. I am not crazy about the idea of radiology. It just makes me uncomfortable thinking of being blasted every day for 6-weeks with nukes basically. There is a way I can avoid it, but I'll go into that later.
For now, I feel well, and am excited about the upcoming ski trip! I'll have four days to think about how to proceed with my life. I liked what the surgeon said to me today, to just take baby steps...one day at a time. It will drive me crazy to worry about what this is going to look like in three months, six months or a year. I just have to focus on today.
Friday, February 11, 2011
A new and unwanted challenge
I feel like a real slacker since I haven't blogged since last fall. Geez. Since then, I landed myself back in a paying journalism gig, as a reporter for The Mercer Island Reporter, which I love and am so grateful for. So, I'm getting paid to write again - yay!
Now I am turning to this outlet for personal reasons. I see this as a therapeutic exercise, since I am one of those people that feels compelled to keep my friends and loved ones informed on major events in my life.
Linda Ball, daughter, rock chick, wife, mother, student, real estate broker, journalist, bodybuilder, ballroom dancer, lover, weirdo.....these are all parts of my journey. Now I have a new and very frightening journey ahead of me, which I hope and pray will end with, Linda Ball, cancer survivor.
Yep, folks, I was diagnosed with breast cancer Jan. 26, 2011. Color me shocked. There is no breast cancer in my family, or much cancer to speak of at that. I always figured I'd have a stroke since everyone in my family (the elders) seem to have stroked out. But no. I have to get a life threatening disease. It really sucks to say the least. For God's sake, I haven't even had the flu for years.
First there was shock. Now I'm easing out of denial into reading up on this horrid disease so I can understand what's happening to me.
Here's what I know. It's a pretty good size tumor in my left breast. I first suspected something around the holidays. I didn't feel it, but I could see it, seriously. I thought, "WTF." I freaked momentarily, then told myself to calm down and get a mammogram after the holiday. So I did.
Then, they (Swedish Hospital) called me back in for additional views on the left side. Okay, don't panic I thought.
After the additional views, suddenly they are suggesting an ultrasound. Hmmm. Okay. Then a biopsy. Now I'm crying. That was Jan. 24. Two days later I got the call, that I have cancer.
It's what they call ductile carcinoma in situ, which means it's in the ducts, not the lobes, and hasn't spread, so that's the good news. What is worrisome is that I am positive for HER2neu, which means I have too many copies of the HER2neu gene being produced, which makes the cancer cells more aggressive. I'm also positive for estrogen and progesterone receptors, which may mean hormonal therapy once the damn cancer is gone.
So, I'm being real clinical here, I know. I want to understand this and be prepared. But truthfully, I'm scared shitless. I am not afraid to die, but I'm not ready just yet. And I don't want to be mutilated. I admit it. I'm vain. I've always relied on my femininity when my brain wasn't enough.
The rest of this month will be consumed by numerous consultations with a variety of doctors, plus I'm getting a second opinion from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance on Tuesday. These are the folks who are associated with the renowned Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center and the University of Washington. They are reviewing my pathology report now. Then I see a medical oncologist and a radiology oncologist this week, too. I will be getting an MRI, PET/CT scan and bone scan soon, too. Once I decide between Swedish or SCCA, a treatment plan will be devised. Then the fun/horror begins. One option is to do chemo first to shrink the tumor so it can be removed without too much harm to the breast, which appeals to me. I also might be able to be part of a clinical trial, which sounds encouraging.
I never thought - not in a million years - that I'd be dealing with this. I have wonderful friends, and a wonderful man in my life, Bradley, who is very concerned about me and has been with me every step of the way so far.
So, this new girl in town - now here for almost a year and a half - is getting to know the side of Seattle I didn't think I'd need, and that's the wonderful health facilities here. I truly believe there was a reason God pointed me here, because this city is very well known for its excellent health facilities.
I will keep this blog updated frequently now, so that anyone who cares or is just curious about breast cancer can keep up with my treatment/care. Right now, I feel fine. Bradley and I are going skiing next weekend to Whistler and I'm so excited because I've never been there! We've had this planned for a couple of months and I'm so glad I'm not in chemo or anything yet so this trip didn't get blown. I'm going to ski my ass off, take in the sunshine and thank God I'm alive.
Now I am turning to this outlet for personal reasons. I see this as a therapeutic exercise, since I am one of those people that feels compelled to keep my friends and loved ones informed on major events in my life.
Linda Ball, daughter, rock chick, wife, mother, student, real estate broker, journalist, bodybuilder, ballroom dancer, lover, weirdo.....these are all parts of my journey. Now I have a new and very frightening journey ahead of me, which I hope and pray will end with, Linda Ball, cancer survivor.
Yep, folks, I was diagnosed with breast cancer Jan. 26, 2011. Color me shocked. There is no breast cancer in my family, or much cancer to speak of at that. I always figured I'd have a stroke since everyone in my family (the elders) seem to have stroked out. But no. I have to get a life threatening disease. It really sucks to say the least. For God's sake, I haven't even had the flu for years.
First there was shock. Now I'm easing out of denial into reading up on this horrid disease so I can understand what's happening to me.
Here's what I know. It's a pretty good size tumor in my left breast. I first suspected something around the holidays. I didn't feel it, but I could see it, seriously. I thought, "WTF." I freaked momentarily, then told myself to calm down and get a mammogram after the holiday. So I did.
Then, they (Swedish Hospital) called me back in for additional views on the left side. Okay, don't panic I thought.
After the additional views, suddenly they are suggesting an ultrasound. Hmmm. Okay. Then a biopsy. Now I'm crying. That was Jan. 24. Two days later I got the call, that I have cancer.
It's what they call ductile carcinoma in situ, which means it's in the ducts, not the lobes, and hasn't spread, so that's the good news. What is worrisome is that I am positive for HER2neu, which means I have too many copies of the HER2neu gene being produced, which makes the cancer cells more aggressive. I'm also positive for estrogen and progesterone receptors, which may mean hormonal therapy once the damn cancer is gone.
So, I'm being real clinical here, I know. I want to understand this and be prepared. But truthfully, I'm scared shitless. I am not afraid to die, but I'm not ready just yet. And I don't want to be mutilated. I admit it. I'm vain. I've always relied on my femininity when my brain wasn't enough.
The rest of this month will be consumed by numerous consultations with a variety of doctors, plus I'm getting a second opinion from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance on Tuesday. These are the folks who are associated with the renowned Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center and the University of Washington. They are reviewing my pathology report now. Then I see a medical oncologist and a radiology oncologist this week, too. I will be getting an MRI, PET/CT scan and bone scan soon, too. Once I decide between Swedish or SCCA, a treatment plan will be devised. Then the fun/horror begins. One option is to do chemo first to shrink the tumor so it can be removed without too much harm to the breast, which appeals to me. I also might be able to be part of a clinical trial, which sounds encouraging.
I never thought - not in a million years - that I'd be dealing with this. I have wonderful friends, and a wonderful man in my life, Bradley, who is very concerned about me and has been with me every step of the way so far.
So, this new girl in town - now here for almost a year and a half - is getting to know the side of Seattle I didn't think I'd need, and that's the wonderful health facilities here. I truly believe there was a reason God pointed me here, because this city is very well known for its excellent health facilities.
I will keep this blog updated frequently now, so that anyone who cares or is just curious about breast cancer can keep up with my treatment/care. Right now, I feel fine. Bradley and I are going skiing next weekend to Whistler and I'm so excited because I've never been there! We've had this planned for a couple of months and I'm so glad I'm not in chemo or anything yet so this trip didn't get blown. I'm going to ski my ass off, take in the sunshine and thank God I'm alive.
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