Radiation going fine

I've had nine treatments now, and I am beginning to feel a bit fatigued, but not nearly as bad as it was with the second round of chemo. It's fast, and the technicians are wonderful. I go in the morning before work. I saw Dr. Kaplan this past week for the first time in about 5 weeks, and I told him I quit taking the Lapatinib, and he was okay with it. It's not life and death that I take it. It is an awful pill, and I just don't want to feel chemo-ish again. The radiation and Herceptin are good enough insurance that I don't get the cancer back. It was so good to see him. I was so used to seeing him every single week. He's still my main doc, and I feel safe with him, as well as hopeful.
Christmas with Taylor was very nice; not too much drama, thank God. I love him so much. I worry about him every single day and probably always will. No matter how old they get, you can't stop being mom. We had a lovely dinner out Christmas Eve, then I cooked a free-range turkey on Christmas. I didn't gain any weight over the holidays or the trip, and I hope to lose 10 pounds sooner than later. One of many goals for 2012, which I pray to the good Lord is a better year for me. I've had enough, right?
I had a very weird experience last night, which still has me upset. Well, actually the weirdness started when I had a terrible nightmare Thursday night, well actually Friday morning just before I woke up. I dreamt I'd been abducted and raped by these horrible people who were very dark beings. I was all cut up and bleeding. It was horrible. I shook it off, went to radiation and to work.
So, after work, I went to a champagne tasting at the nice little wine shop, Bin 41, in West Seattle, which was fine. It was early, so I decided to get something to eat, since I've been eating turkey all week! I went to a very casual yet nice little place called West 5 because they make good fish tacos. It was still happy hour, so it was packed, but there was one space at the bar, so I took it. To my right was this guy, I gathered was named Scott because the bartender knew him by name.
So, he says to me, "why are you so cautious?" I didn't realize I was acting cautious, but this immediately put me on guard. He asked me what my malady was. I looked at him and asked him what made him think I had a malady. He said he sensed it. So I told him I was a recent cancer survivor, still in treatment. Turns out he was a liver cancer survivor. Okay, good. But it got increasingly weird and uncomfortable. Apparently he is a regular there, but they said he's not usually like that....dropping the f-bomb a lot, and telling me that most human beings are expendable, that the world is in an awful place, and I wasn't voting for that fucking Obama was I? The bartender told him to please not discuss politics or religion, which I appreciated. Then he starts in on Roman Catholics, and I told him to stop, as I have good friends who are Catholic. He shut up while I ate, but I was so uncomfortable. Then he starts back in, eventually telling me I would most likely die before him. At that point the manager asked me if I was okay, and I said no. They ran him off finally, and comped my drink. I was totally unnerved, waiting until I was sure he was long gone, and beelining it for my car, locking as soon as I got in. They said he's "a little off" - you think? and that he'd had too much to drink. Nonetheless, that's the first time I've ever felt threatened since I moved here. I came home and fell apart, especially when I drove up to the house and there were two raccoons staring at me. I just looked at them like, fuck off, and they ran. The whole thing was a nightmare. A fitting end to a scary year I guess.
I have no big plans for tonight, just a movie. I want to go skiing half day tomorrow. I haven't gone yet this year for lack of snow and time. I think I'm strong enough. I've been to Pilates six times now with my new teacher, and I feel stronger already. She's fabulous.
Everyone be safe tonight, and stay away from weirdos who tell you that you're going to die! That son-of-a-bitch has no idea who I am.