Fear, anxiety and hair

I had a haircut today. Pretty amazing, but it needed some shaping as it was getting sort of shaggy in places. I made an appointment for early August to shape it up again. It's encouraging how fast it's growing back.
I've had a rough couple of days. I got all the paperwork in the mail from the plastic surgeon, Dr. Isik, regarding my reconstruction, which is coming up fast. I read every word and sort of got freaked out. Of course this stuff always includes something to the effect that the worse case scenario is death. Super! (Note: sarcasm).
I go in four weeks from yesterday for the first procedure, which is done in office. This is the "delay" I talked about earlier. What it boils down to is cutting me open in the abdominal area and tying off blood vessels that are no larger than the point of a pen, to force more blood into the area. I just can't even imagine how the hell he does this. So, I'm under anesthesia for that one, and come home the same day.
Then on the 23rd, is the TRAM flap itself. I was of the impression that they actually remove the tissue from the belly and move it up to create the new breast, but I was wrong. That's the magic of it all; Dr. Isik will just kind of scoot it up, it being a vertical muscle and fat. Therefore, the blood supply is never disrupted. It's so amazing what they can do, but I'm getting freaked because it's a 6-hour operation, and again, anesthesia. I've never not woken up before, but you never know.
Adding to my anxiety is the fact that Taylor is now in Colorado to fight the wildfires there, since there's no action in Idaho. He's fine - I just talked to him today, and they are basically patrolling right now to check for smoke or new fires. I mean they are newbies, so I can't imagine they'll throw them into some sort of disco inferno. But it still makes me nervous. Oh shit, he just sent me a text - they just got dispatched. Sweet Jesus, keep my boy safe.
So, I have been very unproductive the past two days. I am seeing Dr. Isik Friday morning, just to talk, and get all my nitty-gritty questions I have hopefully answered. There's a lot of info in the packet they sent that I can't even begin to describe. You can Google Dr. Frank Isik and the TRAM flap if you want the medical details. It is fascinating.
Meantime, I did have a lovely barbecue Saturday night, with the usual suspects; Jim, Mira, Christina and her sweetie, Don. I invited more people, but it's always something I guess. Kind of hurt my feelings because I busted my ass to make everything perfect, and I won't be entertaining again anytime soon. But the five of us had a grand time!
Ukefest is this weekend; I'll be going to a concert, and participating in two workshops and a jam. then next Wednesday I'll drive up to Bellingham, spend the night there, then board the Schooner Zodiac for my 4-day San Juan Island Cruise on assignment for Wave Journey, which I'm really looking forward to. It will be a lovely break before all medical hell breaks loose again.