A new and unwanted challenge

I feel like a real slacker since I haven't blogged since last fall. Geez. Since then, I landed myself back in a paying journalism gig, as a reporter for The Mercer Island Reporter, which I love and am so grateful for. So, I'm getting paid to write again - yay!
Now I am turning to this outlet for personal reasons. I see this as a therapeutic exercise, since I am one of those people that feels compelled to keep my friends and loved ones informed on major events in my life.
Linda Ball, daughter, rock chick, wife, mother, student, real estate broker, journalist, bodybuilder, ballroom dancer, lover, weirdo.....these are all parts of my journey. Now I have a new and very frightening journey ahead of me, which I hope and pray will end with, Linda Ball, cancer survivor.
Yep, folks, I was diagnosed with breast cancer Jan. 26, 2011. Color me shocked. There is no breast cancer in my family, or much cancer to speak of at that. I always figured I'd have a stroke since everyone in my family (the elders) seem to have stroked out. But no. I have to get a life threatening disease. It really sucks to say the least. For God's sake, I haven't even had the flu for years.
First there was shock. Now I'm easing out of denial into reading up on this horrid disease so I can understand what's happening to me.
Here's what I know. It's a pretty good size tumor in my left breast. I first suspected something around the holidays. I didn't feel it, but I could see it, seriously. I thought, "WTF." I freaked momentarily, then told myself to calm down and get a mammogram after the holiday. So I did.
Then, they (Swedish Hospital) called me back in for additional views on the left side. Okay, don't panic I thought.
After the additional views, suddenly they are suggesting an ultrasound. Hmmm. Okay. Then a biopsy. Now I'm crying. That was Jan. 24. Two days later I got the call, that I have cancer.
It's what they call ductile carcinoma in situ, which means it's in the ducts, not the lobes, and hasn't spread, so that's the good news. What is worrisome is that I am positive for HER2neu, which means I have too many copies of the HER2neu gene being produced, which makes the cancer cells more aggressive. I'm also positive for estrogen and progesterone receptors, which may mean hormonal therapy once the damn cancer is gone.
So, I'm being real clinical here, I know. I want to understand this and be prepared. But truthfully, I'm scared shitless. I am not afraid to die, but I'm not ready just yet. And I don't want to be mutilated. I admit it. I'm vain. I've always relied on my femininity when my brain wasn't enough.
The rest of this month will be consumed by numerous consultations with a variety of doctors, plus I'm getting a second opinion from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance on Tuesday. These are the folks who are associated with the renowned Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center and the University of Washington. They are reviewing my pathology report now. Then I see a medical oncologist and a radiology oncologist this week, too. I will be getting an MRI, PET/CT scan and bone scan soon, too. Once I decide between Swedish or SCCA, a treatment plan will be devised. Then the fun/horror begins. One option is to do chemo first to shrink the tumor so it can be removed without too much harm to the breast, which appeals to me. I also might be able to be part of a clinical trial, which sounds encouraging.
I never thought - not in a million years - that I'd be dealing with this. I have wonderful friends, and a wonderful man in my life, Bradley, who is very concerned about me and has been with me every step of the way so far.
So, this new girl in town - now here for almost a year and a half - is getting to know the side of Seattle I didn't think I'd need, and that's the wonderful health facilities here. I truly believe there was a reason God pointed me here, because this city is very well known for its excellent health facilities.
I will keep this blog updated frequently now, so that anyone who cares or is just curious about breast cancer can keep up with my treatment/care. Right now, I feel fine. Bradley and I are going skiing next weekend to Whistler and I'm so excited because I've never been there! We've had this planned for a couple of months and I'm so glad I'm not in chemo or anything yet so this trip didn't get blown. I'm going to ski my ass off, take in the sunshine and thank God I'm alive.